Someone recently asked me if I’d ever been cheated on. A storm of pain began in the pit of my stomach. “Yes,” I replied, “Emotionally.”
What does that even mean? An emotional affair is a connection with someone of the opposite sex that you keep a secret from your partner. The operative word is ‘cheating’. And yes, it definitely counts. Many convince themselves that as long as there’s no sex, it’s not an affair. But it is. Flirtatious e-mails, sexting on mobiles, coffee and cosy heart-to-heart. It’s a new kind of adultery.
Some years ago, I caught my then-boyfriend going behind my back. My radar was already on high alert when a close buddy dropped a hint about the status of my relationship with him. He had become aloof and distant; we scarcely texted and barely met.
He Developed Attachment
I confronted him about it maturely and he admitted having developed an emotional attachment to another girl that involved lots of texting and hanging out. I don’t think he was looking for it, but he connected with her and it was a slippery slope. Boy, did it hurt. It seemed like every sad song I heard on the radio was about what I was going through.
5 Red Flags of a Slippery Slope; Signs You are Cheating
1. You’re keeping secret the amount of time you’re spending with the person.
2. You contact them outside of ‘friendship hours’ and start piling excuses to your partner.
3. You dress up for that person.
4. You share stuff that you don’t even share with your other half.
5. You start to feel dependent on the emotional high that comes with the relationship.